If you struggle with being overly self-conscious, you are likely high on self-awareness and low on self-acceptance. Begin now to acquire a healthy sense of self that will involve taking risks, making mistakes and, if you’re doing it right, being silly. You owe it to yourself and to the next generation; an anxious, overly self-conscious parent often produces a child with the same crippling approach to life.

Some indicators that you’re self-obsessed:
• You think everything that happens or doesn’t is somehow about you.

• You try to control other people’s feelings and accuse them of controlling yours.

• You sift everything that happens through your sense of entitlement, worth, needs.

• You feel vulnerable or victimized most of the time.

• You waste time and energy monitoring the way you walk, talk, look, perform and still feel you’ve messed up.

• You constantly rehash every daily event, berating yourself or revelling in every moment of glory.

• You think people are focusing on you more than they really are and you edit your behaviour accordingly.

• You dress for the approval of others rather than your own quirky sense of style.

• Your every communication starts with “I” and focuses on what you are thinking, feeling, doing, etc.

• You commandeer every conversation with your own — worse or better — experience.

• When you look up the word “narcissism” it sounds like you.

Ways to obsess less and enjoy life more:
• Tackle one issue at a time (i.e., shyness, low self-esteem, negative attitude).

• Trust friends who tell you to get over yourself when you become self-focused.

• Be realistic; perfection doesn’t exist.

• Give yourself time to learn how to balance your perspectives and enjoy life more.

• Decide that when it comes to rating yourself, good enough is good enough.

• Get a handle on what’s made you so uptight and talk it through.

• Deal with your emotional extremes; be curious and not critical.

• Listen to your instincts when you sense unsafe people or situations nearby.

• Relax. Trust yourself. You’re in good hands – yours.  

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